Thanks for this real and insightful piece. You captured so well the deep pain that "church hurt" can cause people. Using the metaphor of the church as the body of Christ is powerful - awkward, heavy, and cumbersome for sure, yet still something sacred we're called to bear carefully.
I really resonated with your honesty about the anxiety that can come even in places meant for healing. How often do the very people and places that should provide comfort and renewal end up wounding us instead? But your nuanced take on not dismissing the scars, while still honoring their stories, offers great wisdom.
Ultimately, your reassurance that carrying this heavy body is worth it because of our hope in resurrection hit home. The body was weighed down by death, but new and endless life emerged from that faced weight. What a fitting metaphor for the church itself.
Thanks for boldly naming the hurt, while also upholding the high calling we have to bear together the awkward reality of Christ's body. Your words will surely provide solace to many who've experienced similar spiritual injuries. May we all have the courage to keep carrying when the body feels heavy, upheld by the promise of resurrection.
Oh, my friend, I can only imagine. I do grow weary of it often being cast as only one way. Pastors experience just as much church hurt as any other can. Thank you, Rick for your honesty.
Being hurt by your pastor is a special kind of pain. It feels like betrayal. On the one hand we want our padre to know our life well, while on the other we probably would resent it if they delved too deeply. We resent it when they are unaware of the big events in our lives. But we don’t want to call for help. Then we are mad. God forbid they be deemed human. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. What was it Bruce Cockburn said “…when your hearts beset by memories you wish you’d never made…”
Bill! So awesome to hear the sound of your typing :) Yes, it is a unique kind of pain. And one that can take so much more time to navigate and heal through.
"White coat syndrome" pops up for me as well... when I get a request to "come in & talk about a couple of things..." The unknowns of the conversation bring with them the heavy weights of past conversations that were incredibly painful & destructive; its not as easy to recall the previous conversations that were life-giving & encouraging. Thanks for sharing about this...
Wow, I’ve needed to sit with this since Thursday before commenting. It resonates deeply with me and my family now as we navigate the in-between of our own “Saturday Christianity” while finding a new church home after resigning from my church staff position recently. This question you posed and illustrated with your recent dentist visit rings true, “How often can it be that the very place where we can be most healed is the place where we face our greatest fear and anxiety?”
Thank you for this illuminating and realistic articulation surrounding the experience of church hurt. Also, A Glorious Dark is one of my all-time favorite books!
Thank you, Stephanie! Yes, it sounds like you are going through a major transition right now. Even as I write this, I offer a prayer before Jesus that there would be a deep sense of meaning and purpose behind what he is doing. God is with you!
Thank you for this AJ. I'm reminded of similar imagery from Eugene Peterson's book, Practice Resurrection. Are you familiar with Philip Larkin's poem Church Going? https://www.thepoetryhour.com/poems/church-going
I've sat with this poem for about a year now while going through a spiritual Direction program here in Portland. And I've never felt the seriousness and heaviness of Christ's body more so.
Oh my goodness—that is beautiful writing. Haven't read Larkin's stuff. But I've read Practice Resurrection no less than two times. Such an important book. Thanks for sending this link to Larkin's work. I'll read with anticipation.
Beautifully written. I have identified with this type of “white coat syndrome” with the church, and it wasn’t until I sat in your office at school to realize I wasn’t wounded by God, but by the church. And I had to heal those wounds & let Jesus back into my heart. I thank you ever so much for helping me along my healing journey. It can be a giant wound! And I know so many who feel the same.
Thanks for this real and insightful piece. You captured so well the deep pain that "church hurt" can cause people. Using the metaphor of the church as the body of Christ is powerful - awkward, heavy, and cumbersome for sure, yet still something sacred we're called to bear carefully.
I really resonated with your honesty about the anxiety that can come even in places meant for healing. How often do the very people and places that should provide comfort and renewal end up wounding us instead? But your nuanced take on not dismissing the scars, while still honoring their stories, offers great wisdom.
Ultimately, your reassurance that carrying this heavy body is worth it because of our hope in resurrection hit home. The body was weighed down by death, but new and endless life emerged from that faced weight. What a fitting metaphor for the church itself.
Thanks for boldly naming the hurt, while also upholding the high calling we have to bear together the awkward reality of Christ's body. Your words will surely provide solace to many who've experienced similar spiritual injuries. May we all have the courage to keep carrying when the body feels heavy, upheld by the promise of resurrection.
Bless you Dave!
Super thankful for your ministry, A.J.! Big fan of the Slow Theology!
Thank you for writing this. As a former pastor, I have lived both sides of this pain.
Oh, my friend, I can only imagine. I do grow weary of it often being cast as only one way. Pastors experience just as much church hurt as any other can. Thank you, Rick for your honesty.
Dear AJ
Being hurt by your pastor is a special kind of pain. It feels like betrayal. On the one hand we want our padre to know our life well, while on the other we probably would resent it if they delved too deeply. We resent it when they are unaware of the big events in our lives. But we don’t want to call for help. Then we are mad. God forbid they be deemed human. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time. What was it Bruce Cockburn said “…when your hearts beset by memories you wish you’d never made…”
Bill! So awesome to hear the sound of your typing :) Yes, it is a unique kind of pain. And one that can take so much more time to navigate and heal through.
By the way, now that I am subscribing and paying your salary I expect to be entertained. Lol.
Haha. Noted.
"White coat syndrome" pops up for me as well... when I get a request to "come in & talk about a couple of things..." The unknowns of the conversation bring with them the heavy weights of past conversations that were incredibly painful & destructive; its not as easy to recall the previous conversations that were life-giving & encouraging. Thanks for sharing about this...
Thanks, Louie! I wish I could be in DC this week to see you. But alas, hope it goes well—if you are going.
Wow, I’ve needed to sit with this since Thursday before commenting. It resonates deeply with me and my family now as we navigate the in-between of our own “Saturday Christianity” while finding a new church home after resigning from my church staff position recently. This question you posed and illustrated with your recent dentist visit rings true, “How often can it be that the very place where we can be most healed is the place where we face our greatest fear and anxiety?”
Thank you for this illuminating and realistic articulation surrounding the experience of church hurt. Also, A Glorious Dark is one of my all-time favorite books!
Thank you, Stephanie! Yes, it sounds like you are going through a major transition right now. Even as I write this, I offer a prayer before Jesus that there would be a deep sense of meaning and purpose behind what he is doing. God is with you!
This was such an encouraging read. Thank you!
You are awesome, Drew. Thank you.
appreciate this, AJ!
Hey, look at you, Sarah Baldwin! I appreciate you.
I felt convicted, inspired, blessed, and emotional reading this. Your insights and articulation bless me each week! Thank you!
J.M.! You are a bucket of encouragement, friend. Thank you.
Thank you for this AJ. I'm reminded of similar imagery from Eugene Peterson's book, Practice Resurrection. Are you familiar with Philip Larkin's poem Church Going? https://www.thepoetryhour.com/poems/church-going
I've sat with this poem for about a year now while going through a spiritual Direction program here in Portland. And I've never felt the seriousness and heaviness of Christ's body more so.
Oh my goodness—that is beautiful writing. Haven't read Larkin's stuff. But I've read Practice Resurrection no less than two times. Such an important book. Thanks for sending this link to Larkin's work. I'll read with anticipation.
Beautifully written. I have identified with this type of “white coat syndrome” with the church, and it wasn’t until I sat in your office at school to realize I wasn’t wounded by God, but by the church. And I had to heal those wounds & let Jesus back into my heart. I thank you ever so much for helping me along my healing journey. It can be a giant wound! And I know so many who feel the same.
Thank you, Katie! May God continue to lead and heal.