Being Teachable through Correction

Learning how to receive the painful words of wisdom

This week, I’m pleased to inaugurate a new Substack series entitled Being Teachable that fleshes out some core concepts from my new book, A Teachable Spirit: The Virtue of Learning From Strangers, Enemies, and Absolutely Everyone (Zondervan). We can’t ignore how desperately needed it’s become (in a world torn asunder by political tribalism, ideological entrenchment, and mean-spirited one-upmanship) for followers of Jesus to lean in a different direction than the prevailing winds. The book’s thrust is an invitation to embrace the sacred and quiet path of humble learning from the master himself, Jesus Christ. This devotional explores all the good stuff I couldn’t fit into the printed volume. And I’m hopeful you’ll enjoy it.

We have a remarkable teacher. “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit,” Jesus taught his disciples, “whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.” (Jn. 14:26) The Spirit, it seems, is not only the ongoing presence of Jesus in our lives; the Spirit of God is the teacher within us. And, man alive, how much we have to learn! In the upcoming months, we will explore a mishmash of exciting concepts, including, but not limited to:

• Being teachable through correction

• Being teachable in theology

• Being teachable through relationships

• Being teachable in pain and suffering

• Being teachable at church

• Being teachable in parenting

• Being teachable in creation

• Being teachable through friendship

• Being teachable in a family

• Being teachable at work

I can’t stress this enough: if the themes explored in these Thursday Devotionals pique your interest in the slightest, then I strongly urge you to pick up a copy of the book (link below today’s devotional) and dig in for yourself. Important reminder: I’ll be leading a Monday reading group beginning on May 5th. You can read about that here. If you’ve pre-ordered the book, please let us know here so you can access the reading group. Also, anyone who is a paid subscriber to the Low-Level Theologian automatically gets access to the reading group.

Now, to the first installation of the Being Teachable series—being teachable through correction. God’s grace!

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Learning always has two sides to it. On the one hand, a learner needs a teacher who both possesses wisdom and the guts to impart it. It isn’t enough to have a wise teacher. We need wise teachers who are willing to take risks to teach. A consistent message throughout the Proverbs is that the wise offer their message truthfully and honestly, words going unminced. “The tongue of the wise commends knowledge,” Prov. 15:2 declares, “But the mouths of the fools pour out folly.” Elsewhere, a wise sage writes, “The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious and adds persuasiveness to his lips.” Or, as Prov. 12:17 reads, “Whoever speaks the truth gives honest advice, but a false witness utters deceit.” Each of these, one way or another, offers us a cumulative perspective on a distinguishing characteristic of the wise. The wise don’t drop hints. Nor do they speak in code. Their wisdom is communicated clearly, boldly, and in love. The clarity of their speech matches the brilliance of their wisdom.

The other side of learning is that we must be willing to be taught. To be taught, we must be teachable! Again, the author of Proverbs writes, “Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.” (Prov. 19:20) And, elsewhere, “Mockers do not like correction, so they avoid the wise.” (Prov. 15:12) Texts like these reveal what being teachable is all about. We need someone to tell us the truth. But we also need to have cultivated the kind of heart that desires to receive it. Thus, there are two sides to learning. The teachable person is someone who not only has willing teachers, but, also, has a cultivated humility to learn from them.

Photo by Chase Fade

Too often, for one reason or another, we go uncorrected. Years ago, I picked up a book by Malcolm Gladwell entitled Outliers. In it, he examines the commonalities among individuals who have achieved notable success in their respective fields. In ch. 7, titled “The ethnic theory of plane crashes,” he discusses an intriguing phenomenon in the history of aviation disasters. Gladwell points out that crashes are significantly more likely to occur, interestingly, when the more experienced pilot is the one flying the plane. Why? Because when the less experienced captain is in a position of needing to warn the wiser, older pilot of some kind of impending problem, they often hold back—doing so because they believe that the one with more experience should know the problem. In short, the less experienced pilot may hesitate to address issues with the more experienced pilot if they notice something amiss because they don’t want to overspeak, given their perceived inferiority.

This has been referred to as “mitigated speech,” which Gladwell defines as:

Any attempt to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said. We mitigate when we’re being polite, or when we’re ashamed or embarrassed, or when we’re being deferential to authority.¹

No doubt, there are some good reasons for mitigated speech. Gladwell points out that if we were to ask our boss for a favor, we wouldn’t do so as a command but as a soft pitch—“If it isn’t a problem, and no problem if it is, would it be possible to go home a little early on Friday to pick my son up from school?” This form of mitigated speech is wise speech! And very well may be the difference between having a job and not having one. We rightly use mitigated speech when speaking to anyone in authority, such as a police officer who has pulled us over, a parent who controls our cell phone, or a teacher who determines our grade. Those in authority have our flourishing in their hands.

So, mitigated speech may serve as a means of kindness, politeness, or survival in a complex world. However, in intimate relationships, mitigated speech can be exceptionally toxic. Allow me to illustrate. A close friend was raised in a family where his father never communicated with him about his desires using direct and precise language. Instead, his father passively conveyed continuous indirect messages through glances, sighs, and body language. In his adult years, my friend struggled, wondering why he rarely trusted people’s words. The truth was, he couldn’t. Words were never trusted in his childhood. Nor were they used. He always felt he had to decode the “hints” people were putting down for him to figure out. This upbringing taught him at a young age to distrust people because he believed there were always hidden messages needing interpretation. He eventually unlearned these patterns and adopted new ways to trust relationships. Still, this transformation took years of intentional effort and focus.

Too often, mitigated speech has become our default form of communication. We need people who speak the truth to us. We must have truth-tellers in our lives to teach us. Otherwise, we may crash.

Back to that text in Proverbs 15. The Hebrew text quickly gets to the heart of the matter. A standard English translation reads: “Mockers do not like correction, so they avoid the wise” (Prov. 15:12). But the Hebrew text reads quite differently. It relays that the mocker does not “love” (Heb. ahav) correction. Mockers, it turns out, are often corrected. That isn’t their problem. They may constantly be being corrected. Their folly is that they do not love correction. Life and people may correct them from time to time. But these things are never lovingly embraced as gifts from God. They see such distractions as trivial annoyances getting in the way of life’s party. A teachable person is a person who has come to love and desire correction. Life will bring it to everyone. It is only the wise who see it for its glory.

The need for correction could keep a plane from running out of fuel. But, in the realm of Christian faithfulness, it could be the difference between life and death.

There are two takeaways.

First, examining the wisdom of the Proverbs helps us understand why it is essential to surround ourselves not just with wise people who possess wisdom, but also with those who possess the integrity to articulate it to us as we need it. Too often, the wise are around us. However, their wisdom is never received because they fear saying something that may hurt another’s feelings or jeopardize the relationship. We do not just need wise people in our lives; we need wise people with the boldness to share their treasures. Someone once said to me that a friend could not be trusted until they’ve corrected you or let you down. There is some wisdom in this. And I’ve found it to be true.

It reminds us, secondly, that if we hold influence or power, the key to our success may require us to regularly go out of our way to include the voices of people around us who do not have power over us. As the lesson of the plane crash teaches us, sometimes the best leaders serve everyone well by allowing someone else to take the pilot’s seat from time to time. Furthermore, we should strive to become the kind of teachable leaders who possess the integrity to listen to the much-needed voice of the less experienced person sitting next to us. They may be afraid to speak up, so we have the responsibility to help them find that voice because it may be the one that saves the lives of everyone onboard.

1. The concept of “mitigated speech” is outlined in ch. 7 of Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success (New York, NY: Little, Brown and Company, 2008).