19 Comments
User's avatar
Mark Quanstrom's avatar

One of the reasons forgiveness is healing is because it demands recognition of being sinned against. Forgiveness is impossible as long as we are in denial. To forgive, we have to know what is being forgiven. That requires the painful revisitation of the sin, where, through forgiveness, we discover it no longer has any power over us.

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

This is a beautiful response, Mark. Thank you. Yes, I agree. Returning is often needed before one can move forward.

Expand full comment
Katie Rose's avatar

I like how you casually handed out the hardest homework ever.

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

LOL! Just trying to keep things easy :) But in all seriousness—it is hard work. Hope it didn't feel dismissive at all.

Expand full comment
Katie Rose's avatar

Also this resonated deeply in the reconciliation work I've been doing with myself about my own mental health journey this week. Thank you for writing!

Expand full comment
Nancie Carmichael's avatar

Thank you for this powerful treatment of walking/living in forgiveness. The hard part of it is when the offender refuses to see his/her offense. Maybe that tips into justice?

But I think of Jesus prayer at the cross: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

You are welcome, friend! And, btw, a delight to hear from you. I think of you often and have fond memories of our shared time in seminary.

Expand full comment
Melissa Miller's avatar

Wow, this was such a powerful post. I did some inner healing work with the "Heartsync" modality that sounds similar to what you described here. It allowed me to re-enter some memories with Christ by my side.

Also, working on some forgivness stuff myself. None of the pithy sayings about forgiveness help when you're still wrestling your feelings to the ground. But something that is helping me, is asking myself this question, "Do I really want to give my power over to the person who hurt me?" No, I don't. I don't want them or what they did to have any more power over me. I'm not there yet, but that thought helps.

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

You are so kind. Thank you. My therapist once had me do an exercise of returning to those memories and imagining the presence of God. It was astoundingly helpful.

Expand full comment
Adrian Stahl's avatar

This….this was simply a blessing!

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

Overjoyed to hear, Adrian!

Expand full comment
Cindy Kalinoski's avatar

Wonderful post. I remember reading Seamands as a new believer years ago. This phrase of yours caught my spirit: " revivified by the work of the Holy Spirit." New title for this giant of the trinity: The Reminder?

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

Thank you, Cindy. And I came across his son's book, "Ministry in the Image of the Trinity" which turned me on to his father. Both are brilliant thinkers.

Expand full comment
Jody L. Collins's avatar

A.J., your words resonate deeply with where I'm currently at. I've been spending time with a Spiritual Director for the last four years and only just recently broke through some very deep hurts and loss from my early childhood, which I only just acknowledged. Time--and therapy/counseling, friendship, prayer and Jesus--can heal all wounds. But it is a journey.

Thank you for this post.

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

That is terrific work you are doing Jody! Praise Jesus that there has been some breakthrough. Keep going, friend.

Expand full comment
Aaron Hann's avatar

This is great, thank you A.J. That observation about Paul’s storytelling in Acts is going to be simmering for a while, wow! I love that you also find inspiration for this kind of remembering from Jesus’ teaching about the Spirit in the Gospel of John. I seek to do this kind of work with clients (and, reluctantly and faltering, with myself), and have found help explaining this using John’s Gospel and Richard Hays’ idea of resurrection hermeneutics: https://onceaweek.substack.com/p/you-cant-change-what-happened

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

I love it! And brilliant piece on resurrection hermeneutics. Love it. That quote by Eric Johnson—my goodness!

Expand full comment
Griffin Gooch's avatar

Thank you so much for this AJ! 🙌 I very much needed this today.

Expand full comment
A.J. Swoboda's avatar

I'm overjoyed to hear that it was helpful, Griffin!

Expand full comment